I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
