Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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