Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
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It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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