I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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