Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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