somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
