I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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