Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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