Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
