in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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