Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
