4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
