i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize