jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
