I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
