her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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