the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
