Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well you can't waste a boner
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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