And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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