She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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