You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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