i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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