So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize