don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
