I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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