I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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