Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
