Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
