Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize