Don't you send me to vm
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
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True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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