I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize