We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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