You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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