Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Randomize
