we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it hurts more in the daytime
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
