I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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