i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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