We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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