he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
