My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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