I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
