Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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