just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
