I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize