I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
