when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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