1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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