Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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