Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
