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Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
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