I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just invented taco cereal.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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