Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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  (314): Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot. http://tfl.nu/bk2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (565)
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  (760): View more from California

  Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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  (760): Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin. http://tfl.nu/jqr4
  Replies (22) Good night (722) Bad night (5225)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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  (937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh
  Replies (38) Good night (6396) Bad night (1613)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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  (248): i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times... http://tfl.nu/ibyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5629) Bad night (1105)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

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  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5862) Bad night (1120)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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  (780): I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/nb18
  Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks

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  (603): I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks http://tfl.nu/p1yw
  Replies (12) Good night (3537) Bad night (2036)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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  (787): Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months http://tfl.nu/wlwj
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (490)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"

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  (956): You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night" http://tfl.nu/lqee
  Replies (7) Good night (1143) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (774) Bad night (827)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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  (608): I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot. http://tfl.nu/aflc
  Replies (4) Good night (808) Bad night (344)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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  (817): Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina http://tfl.nu/3njj
  Replies (5) Good night (408) Bad night (732)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.

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  (703): there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners. http://tfl.nu/h528
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.

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  (407): The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor. http://tfl.nu/fcy8
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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  (503): It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds. http://tfl.nu/d7uw
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (243)

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