tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.