i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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