well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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