Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
