I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
