he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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