Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
