I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize