Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
