oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
