sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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