The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
