booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
