We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
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He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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