Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
