Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
